[Log Horizon 2] Episode 4: The Real Housewives of Akihabara

Episode 4 is a couple days late due to weekend traveling, sorry folks…

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Overall. While Episode 3 was about getting stuff done, Episode 4 was an exhibit of horrors: the horrors of what can happen when too many girls are together for too long, the horrors of too many characters musing about romance, the horrors of Studio Deen’s truly atrocious art, etc. I am not sure how I feel about this episode because there are just too many mixed messages flung around, and the only thing flowing continuously through  Episode 3 seems to be Akatsuki’s depression, which is just sad [pathetic]. I supposed I should be excited that Shiroe has some deep plot to take over the world through flavor text or that stereotypical big bad wolf villain finally did something other than appear dramatically for two seconds…buuut, I think watching Akatsuki has eroded my own self-esteem and I need a few seconds. Pardon me.

Chicken and Cake. What do chicken and cake have to do with Christmas, you ask? Well, dun dun dun …. they all start with the letter “C”!

No, you're just delusional

No, you’re just delusional

The Party Never Stops in Akihabara should be the new motto of the town, just like “The Sun Never Sets on the British Empire.” The Brits have their navy and the adventurers have their parties! And fan service! (Never forget the fan service.)

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Watermaple House. So apparently, Lenessia lives in Watermaple House in Akihabara. But since she didn’t come to Akihabara until the Apocalypse happened in Elder Tale, was Watermaple House built by the adventurers and became a game zone or was it already there but simply repurposed to become the Princess’ residence? Just something I’m curious about, let me know if you have an answer…

The Real Housewives of Akihabara. A group of women dropping by for tea, gossip, and girl-talk….. Just kill me now. Good god, people, you live in a video game!!! Can your lives get any more dull? Also, why is the stereotype “the man go to war while the women mind the home” still true here?! The women are either longing after Shiroe (raiding) or Krusty (massacring goblins) [or Naotsugu lol] and everyone, since they have nothing better to do with their lives, develops their own pet theory on why Akatsuki has become such a sourpuss. This almost made me feel sorry for Akatsuki, being the target of the “you poor dear” Grandma-style pity (*cough* Henrietta *cough*). Almost.

And I think she needs a kick in the butt

And I think she needs a kick in the butt

Poor Akatsuki. Ah, Akatsuki, what can I say about you that I haven’t already said? You ramble on about how much you miss your lord Shiroe and how much you wish to talk with him, but you seem to have conveniently forgotten that you can speak to him telepathically whenever you want. Of course, you don’t want to bother him with your problems (because that’s totally not what friends do) so really you are just bemoaning your own cowardice. Add the fact that you started going crazy with rampant jealousy and sank to new lows by envying Minori, a middle school girl, for god’s sake…

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When you got a leading role in Season Two.

….why did I think you were badass again? Akatsuki, you disappoint me greatly.

Screen Shot 2014-10-27 at 11.53.31 PM

I am Krusty’s teenage brother.

Bye Bye Krusty. I don’t think you’re coming back this season Krusty, especially if your goblin campaign will last all the way until spring. Episode 1 foreshadowing had already indicated that this season will probably end on Christmas Eve, sorry if you didn’t get that memo. And while I’m sad that the awesome you won’t make a grand appearance, I don’t particularly want to see you if you still look like a prepubescent boy a la Studio Deen. That’s just plain disturbing.

Beauty is in the Eyes of the Beholder. Speaking of Studio Deen, here is what they have graced us with this season: hamster faces and five year old doodles. How lovely.

I'm so sorry the plastic surgery didn't work out for you Serara

I’m so sorry the plastic surgery didn’t work out for you Serara

Akatsuki is a Terrible Ninja. She’s supposed to be the most serious role-player in the game, but then her spying activities / depression gets noticed by everyone, even Lenessia, who confessed that she has no understanding of adventurers. Can she even call herself a ninja if she gets caught all the time?! Not to sound so Akatsuki-hating in this review, she’s one of my favorite characters and I’m happy she got a whole episode to herself basically, but her self-destruction is destroying me. Good heavens.

The Tea Party Club are the only people that knows what the hell is going on as Nyanta finally shows us that he is something other than a Michelin chef. He’s actually someone Shiroe trusts and he can finally contribute to the plot, yay! And basically the only useful members of Log Horizon are the Debauchery Tea Party alumni. Go figure.

Because it's important to ramen's flavor

Because it’s important to ramen’s flavor

Katana-thieving Villain Finally Strikes with a bang as he one-hit kills Miss Captain of the Second Brigade. Frankly, I’m not impressed by either the West Wind Brigade or this villain. For being a sizable combat guild, West Wind Brigade doesn’t seem to have any substance beyond being Soujirou’s harem. It’d be awesome if they were a bunch of kickass girls, but for all their high levels in the game, it seems only Soujirou can pull off the moves in this guild. I mean, it’s just sad that the Captain of a Brigade is taken down in one second without even putting a fight. And her opponent is just a “People of the Land,” whom the series has been putting down as “will never measure up to adventurers” since the first episode of Season One. Talk about a bad first impression.

And the villain dude, after buying Akatsuki’s desired katana and really hammering in her angst (I will never forgive you for this!!), shows up like some stray dog with rabies in an alley ready to pop a vein from high blood pressure. That’s literally what I thought when he appeared. Other than being 100% cliche, I guess he’s alright. Most of all though, I’m glad he’ll usher in some violence / plot in Akihabara so I’m not watching tea parties every single time we flash to Akatsuki’s story. That will really be torture.

I have ebola

Warning: I am afflicted with an infectious disease.

Lastly, Liese’s gravity-defying hair deserves an honorable mention.

What kind of volumizing shampoo do you use Liese?

What kind of volumizing shampoo do you use Liese?

Continue on to Episode 5 Review.

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